All the troubles you have given to me, [A]
u.... / ... u...../... u...... / u / u /
The toothaches that had happened 'cause of you, [B]
u / u / u / u / u /
The dentists that I had to go and see, [A]
u / u / u / u / u /
And every time I went there I said BOO! [B]
u / u / u / u / u /
u / u / u / u / u /
You are my temptation and you know it, [C]
u / u / u / u / u /
You make us wanna go outside and sing, [D]
u / u / u / u / u /
The way you make me drool for every bit, [C]
u / u / u / u / u /
Need to be far from that addicting thing. [D]
u / u / u / u / u /Need to be far from that addicting thing. [D]
The happiness in every single bite, [F]
u / u / u / u / u /
Oh, how it helps me not to have the strife, [E]
u / u / u / u / u /
The blissfulness and joy, am I not right? [F]
u / u / u / u / u /
There it is , wrapped in pretty, purple lace, [G]
u / u / u / u / u /
Enormous smile you bring upon my face! [G]
Enormous smile you bring upon my face! [G]
u / u / u / u / u /
I love your little talk to chocolate in the first stanza, so cute! And that totally expressed the hate element in there :)However, there are a little bit of problem in the iambic pentameter, like temptation should be tempTATION but yours is TEMPtaTION. I love the content of the sonnet a lot, and I can imagine your feeling when you wrote the second sentaza, which totally expressed the love/hate relationship! Do I get chocolate for commenting on this? :P
ReplyDeleteI love the chocolate part too, but the second part's iambic oentameter is kind of wierd. All around, i think it's really good!
ReplyDeleteWow! This is such as cute and sweet sonnet! Becareful wi th iambic pentameter problem and follow all the 4 characterisrics. I love chocolate too! Haha:)
ReplyDeleteI like chocolate and that makes us go to dentist. That is why we hate and love it at the same time. I like that way that you underline the last word to show rhyme. This is a sweet sonnet. :) I enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteIt is so cute that you say eat chocolate make you want to go out and sing. I also like the part you say "Enormous smile you bring upon my face" cause that exactly happen to me when I eat chocolate. So, I think your sonnet have a well describe about the hate and love.
ReplyDeletehahahaha I can tell you faced a lot of troubles from eating chocolates, but still love it so much! it's really good that you describe chocolate as it was a drug.
ReplyDeleteyour rhymes and syllables are all correct, good, but not the iambic pentameter.
some of your words don't fit the iambic pentameter, for example, "trouble" in the first line you wrote it as u /, but usually we read it as / u. it doesn't sound smooth when you read it, right? at least for me it doesn't.
Overall good job, Chanda!
ps I like this line: "And every time I went there I said BOO!"
the rhyme is totally cool! BOOOO!
Wow!! Many people lined up for chocolate Chanda. :P Your sonnet is like a bitter-sweet temptation, and it makes its feels like chocolate. You have to be careful with the iambic pentameter. I don't think chocolate decoration, or package is wrapped all purple with lace, but if you're talking about Valentine's day chocolate, I guess it's ok.
ReplyDelete